Shitpost (TV series)/A House Full of Matts
A House Full of Matts is the twentieth episode of Shitpost's first season. Sypnosis Matt finds multiple versions of himself everywhere he goes. Transcript (Paula and Matt are sitting on the couch together blankly staring at the TV, which isn't playing anything.) Paula: I'm so bored. Matt: So am I. I bet I'm more bored. Paula: Nuh-uh. Matt: Yeah-''huh''! (Paula tries to retaliate, but takes a deep breath in.) Paula: Forget it! I'm too bored to fight with you! Matt: Okay. I'll find something else to do. (Matt walks out of the room) (Cuts to Matt walking upstairs and into his room. He flops face first onto his bed.) Matt: I bet nobody in the history of anything has been as bored as me! I haven't been this bored in my whole life! Shannon (O.S): Can you stop whining? Kids are starving in Africa, you know! Matt: Go away, Shannon. This doesn't involve you. Shannon (O.S): Fine, but remember that next time you complain! (Matt groans, but picks his head back up after a lightbulb appears from above it.) Matt: Hey, wait a second. I have an idea! I'm free of my boredom! (Matt happily runs out of his room, smiling. He runs to the door of Komaeda's lair and knocks on it.) Komaeda: The shed is open. Proceed. Matt: Komaeda, we've been over this. This is not a shed. Komaeda: Why don't any of you let me have fun with things?! Matt: (walking in) I don't know, we feel you need to know this is not a shed, and you are not smart. (Matt points his finger to his temple) Komaeda: Aaaanyway, what do you want? Matt: I just got this crazy idea that I think you can make happen, since you have really effed up powers and all. Komaeda: Uh-huh. Continue. Matt: Komaeda, can you clone m- (Before finishing his sentence, Matt gets zapped by a blue-pink laser beam coming out of Komaeda's finger.) Komaeda: Ask and you shall receive, Major. (A younger, smaller version of Matt appears) Younger Matt: Uhh... hello! Matt: Is that... me? Komaeda: Do I look like Google to you, Major? (Matt groans.) Komaeda: Hey, don't get mad at me. It's not like I rooted through your belongings and used them for my fucky experiments. Matt: Fine, but I'll admit this cloning is quite coo- (Matt is cut off by another zap.) Komaeda: Hah, I'm glad you like it! (Dramatic zoom-in on Komaeda's face as the theme song for Seinfeld blares in the background) (Cut to: a shot of the door to Komaeda's lair. Matt is heard screaming.) Matt: For fuck's sake, Komaeda! When I told you I wanted to be cloned, I didn't mean I wanted THIS MUCH clones of me! Komaeda (condescendingly): You could've just told me, you nincompoop. You and your nincompoopery, Matt. It's a thing of beauty. Now bye, you fucker. (Komaeda leaves the room, leaving Matt and all the other clones behind.) Komaeda: Goodbye, fucker! Matt: No don’t leave me with the- (Komaeda shuts the room‘s door) Matt: Oh dear god, what am I going to do with these clones? God (O.S): Do I look like Google? Matt (muttering): Well, fuck you too. (A purple flame is seen in the background for one second before flashing away.) Matt: What was that!? (A shadow appears behind Matt) Matt: I don't know who you are or where you came from, but if you're planning to bludgeon me with the big ass cardboard tube over there (points to the right, where a cardboard tube is seen), I just want to say this. (deep breath, inspirational music begins) 'To be honest, during my time on this Earth, it has been quite the wild ride. I'm so glad I met the buffoons that inhabit this bunker, and I couldn't have been happier. '(inspirational music stops) 'Also, I still think dogs should vote. '???: I’m not gonna use that! I’m gonna use THIS! (Shoots at Matt with a purple ball of flames) Matt: Watch it, you shit-eating worm! ???: What? You expect me to have perfect aim? Pfft. Matt: Who are you, anyway?! (The mysterious figure is shown to be....another Matt, but a LITTLE big different) Matt: A CLONE!? ???: Yes, indeed, Captain Obvious. Matt: What is your name? ???: Names Turbo Matt. T.Matt for short. Matt: Huh? T.Matt: You heard me. I'm T.Matt. Matt: I’m still confused. T.Matt (enraged): I'M YOUR EVIL FORM, YOU WEENIE! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE FEARED! Matt: (shocked) Yikes! T.Matt: Now that's more like it, buddy boy! A-ha! Matt: DAMNIT KOMAEDA, YOU LET T.MATT INTO THE WORLD! Komaeda (O.S): Not my problem! Matt: SHUT THE FUCK UP! Komaeda (O.S): You first. T.Matt: How bout you BOTH? I’m gonna destroy this town! HAHAHAHA! (Blows a hole in the wall and flies away) Category:Shitpost (TV series)